Whoa! Here is a definite gray zone where I'll probably get put into my place. A very circumstantial area of opinion for sure. So, to go about answering the question with my male opinion, I'll first have to explain the circumstance.
First of all, for those with many kids...
I see a ton of welfare patients as a resident. I get many people who are very demanding people, wanting things done for them on the governments tab (aka: your and my tax tab). That being said, more than 50% (a guestimate) of the people who have no intent on bettering themselves or improving their circumstances, still have cell phones, cable TV, and a pack a day cigaret habit to quench... and then stop by McDonald's two times on their drive into our office. If you don't see the problem I'm painting here, then STOP reading. You are hopeless. One of these family types came into the ER the other night. I had just examined the hairy, tatoo laden, smelly man in the ER for an ENT related issue. I find out from his toothless "fiance" of three years, that they have 7 children total after putting each other's addition from a previous marriage together. They were very proud of this fact. I was about as happy for their children as I was for the Octo-mom's children.
When is it time to stop? Here are some of my criteria...
Cannot afford to give them opportunity.
Opportunity can be and mean many different things. For example, 0pportunity to have financial opportunity for... sports, band, dance, choir etc. Opportunity to have parental monitoring such as... family time, one on one time with parents, education, etc. But for me, my criteria is an opportunity to receive love from a married mother and father.
When you start to burden others
You need to be able to take care of their basic medical, dental, and social needs. When you use Government help to bring these children into this world on a continual basis, then you most likely need to stop.
When your sanity is at risk
If by reason alone that your sanity is at risk with only one kid, then you are either way too busy being busy, or are extremely self centered. Get on an exercise regiment to release the stress or get on medication. In essence, get over yourself! A wise man once said "Forget yourself and go to work". Maybe you should have served a mission! (Remember, if your starting to become offended here, read the subtitle of this blog)
When you are putting your health at risk.
Too many C-sections can become dangerous, talk to your doctor, adoption is a great option.
When you can't manage your life because you become overwhelmed.
Now, if that entails too many soccer, gymnastic, football, baseball practices etc., then cut back on how many activities they do, and add more family time. But if the kids are only doing one thing and your going bald from trichotillomania secondary to frustration, then Dr. Vas or Tubal are calling.
And finally, when a maxi van (12 passenger) cannot legally fit any more kids.
I guess you can get a bus, or just stop already!
Add or subtract ideas at your will.
3 comments:
Wait, so you're telling me that just because I might die, I can't have anymore kids? The thought!!
Sanity: I think you slowly lose it anyway.
But, the most important is following the will of the Lord. If you're supposed to have more kids, have 'em.
I agree whole-heartedly with the sanity issue. I've seen too many moms have a few too many kids out of "duty" and consequently become horrible mothers to all of them because they are in WAY over their heads. I agree with following the will of the Lord, but make sure that really is His will and not your own prideful agenda. I'd rather be the best mom I can be to 2 or 3 kids rather than a terrible mom to 7 or 8. I think we're at the point in this earthly life where the quality of our childrens' upbringings is essential to their strength and valiance - we need to do right by them for they are truly our future and the warriors taking on this earth's biggest evils. Sorry for the lengthy comment - you just really struck a chord with this post.
Now having said all that, I should say that I do believe that there are some people in this world that truly are meant to have large families, they are cut out for it and there isn't the mental, physical, and financial strain there that often plagues those that, perhaps, are NOT cut out for it. I commend them and envy their balance. But we are all different, and we need to know our limitations.
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