The Human Shield, I married a superhero

If it weren't for being a full time mom, Debbie would probably be a body guard or something in the realms of superhero work.  I have two stories to back it up.  Just tonight as our littlest one was sporting a good solid fever, his body decides to rid itself of all gastric contents.  As Debbie is the wonder woman of cuddling her sick baby, she received the full onslaught to the chest.  Quick as a bolt of lightening, she used the blanket, her hand, and her shirt as the recipient of the barrage.  Not one drop of atrocious smelling slime hit the carpet or surrounding structures.  Yeah, pretty amazing.  

So, even more amazing was a similar situation several months ago with our little princess.  It was church time.  We all arrived with our not so up-to-par family and sat in the token back row seat (less distraction for the rest of the members when Chase runs around waving to everyone). We sat on the bench near an exit in case we needed a quick escape to start the beatings for irreverence ( I'm joking here...okay, when am I ever really serious?).  While Emma was resting her head on Debbie's lap, regurgitated breakfast came up and out like a curdled milk fountain.  Amazingly enough, there was minimal collateral damage.  I don't quite know how she did it, but covered from chest to bottom of skirt, Debbie was a putrid mess.  Incognito, we whisked Emma away and into the bathroom for clean up.  Virtually unscathed, I came back out to a battle brazened yet smiling wife.  How does she do it?  After I tucked Emma in the car and sent them home, I returned to clean up the mess with chemicals found in the janitor's closet.  Since the clean up was minimal, no one in the congregation noticed any part of the ordeal.  No one even knew Emma was sick.  Yeah, Debbie is that sneaky.  

Okay so Deb had to remind me, I forgot to mention the original story.  We were getting ready for my medical school graduation.  We were eating breakfast with the family at the hotel.  Brock had just eaten a good size meal.  This was unusual because usually he is the pickiest eater known to man.  So, after he downed some cranberry juice, orange juice, yogurt, and some toast, Debbie points out that he hadn't been feeling very well last night or this morning.  We were thinking he was on the mend due to his voracious appetite.  Well, apparently his mind was willing but his intestinal fortitude was not.  And yup.  KA-BOOM, mama was covered from head to foot, literally.  Her green bag, sandals, skirt, sweater, and hair.  And yes, minimal amounts hit the floor.  It must ingrained into her DNA somehow.  

So I need some help here.  I'm trying to come up with her superhero name for Mothers day, and have run into a snag.  I can't decide between two names.  I'll take a poll, and you can comment.  

1. The Human Shield

2. The Barf Magnet Extraordinaire

Kudo's to all you loving mothers out there.  I'll wipe bottoms and change diapers with the best of em, but it would freak out if I were the one to receive the brunt of the vomit.