Conservative and Liberal comparison

Thanks Jennerator!  This was too funny, mixed with some blatant truths, to not share with you all.  From Neil Bortz...

• "No, I didn't write this. I wish I did. Because it's the painful truth. And you know how much I love to stir the puddin'. This list was actually forwarded to me from a friend of mine … Ain't this the truth?"
• If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
• If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
• If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't` eat meat.
• If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
• If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
• If a liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
• If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
• If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
• If a person of color is conservative, they see themselves as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need
• of government protection.
• If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
• If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
• If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)
• If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
• If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed. If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.