Monday, June 14, 2010

Marriage :Narcissism, histrionic behavior, signs ...

Signs and behaviors of such psychiatrically debilitating behavior need to be observed, evaluated, then beaten out of such people. That is why there is marriage.
As pointed out in a marriage and family class recently attended, a healthy relationship (not one always at peace mind you) is one that keeps both parties in check of impending mental illness. I believe in part that this is why single men tend to be so dang quirky the older they become. If they are not in a good social network (church group, work network, etc), they become vagabonds. Less I digress, I must continue my thought...
If your marriage is not difficult, it is because you are either way too quirky and just leave each other alone, or you and your wife are above the age of 75. Or, you're lying.
Here are two personality disorders that come to mind that make family (including spousal and in-law's) intermingling very much difficult and prone to break-down.
Narcissism and Histrionic behavior
As per Wikipedia...

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious.

They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others. Associated features may include egocentrism, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, feelings that are easily hurt, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.

Characteristics:

People with this disorder are usually able to function at a high level and can be successful socially and professionally. People with histrionic personality disorder usually have good social skills, but they tend to use these skills to manipulate other people and become the center of attention.[1]Furthermore, histrionic personality disorder may affect a person's social or romantic relationships or their ability to cope with losses or failures.

People with this disorder lack genuine empathy. They start relationships well but tend to falter when depth and durability are needed, alternating between extremes ofidealization and devaluation. They may seek treatment for depression when romantic relationships end, although this is by no means a feature exclusive to this disorder.

They often fail to see their own personal situation realistically, instead tending to dramatize and exaggerate their difficulties. They may go through frequent job changes, as they become easily bored and have trouble dealing with frustration. Because they tend to crave novelty and excitement, they may place themselves in risky situations. All of these factors may lead to greater risk of developing depression.

Mnemonic

A mnemonic that can be used to remember the criteria for histrionic personality disorder is PRAISE ME:[9][10]

  • P - provocative (or seductive) behavior
  • R - relationships, considered more intimate than they are
  • A - attention, must be at center of
  • I - influenced easily
  • S - speech (style) - wants to impress, lacks detail
  • E - emotional lability, shallowness
  • M - make-up - physical appearance used to draw attention to self
  • E - exaggerated emotions - theatrical

World Health Organization

The World Health Organization's ICD-10 lists histrionic personality disorder as (F60.4) Histrionic personality disorder.[6]

It is characterized by at least 3 of the following:
  1. self-dramatization, theatricality, exaggerated expression of emotions;
  2. suggestibility, easily influenced by others or by circumstances;
  3. shallow and labile affectivity;
  4. continual seeking for excitement and activities in which the patient is the centre of attention;
  5. inappropriate seductiveness in appearance or behaviour;
  6. over-concern with physical attractiveness.

All I'm saying is that I am very thankful to be married to such a wonderful woman. I would otherwise be living in some alley and sleeping in some gutter every night.

4 comments:

Brad Hart said...

Snotguy (a.k.a. Richard) writes:

"If your marriage is not difficult, it is because you are either way too quirky and just leave each other alone, or you and your wife are above the age of 75. Or, you're lying."

I coudn't agree more. I have a very large family (at least a very large extened family). And like any family, there is dysfunction. Some married couples in my family say they have never fought or never had any kind of problem with their spouse, to which I say "LIAR, LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!!" If it is true, it's only because of other problems they cannot admit to.

But hey, that's just my $0.02.

Jenn said...

You missed the "Center of the Universe" syndrome....

I think many couples go through continual stages, when everything goes well and there really aren't any problems (therefore they can really say, at the time, there are no problems and everything's great), but inevitably, the trials come, the thought processes and differences are evident and people have to learn to communicate with each other.

You do have a wonderful wife, who won't email me back...punk.

How are you doing Brad? I haven't been on facebook in ages (and am not planning a return soon). Hope all is well.

Deb's Big Hunk said...

Ah, too true Jenn. I had sat on the post for way too long and just wanted to get it out there. I totally missed the Narcissism section. Thanks for the reminder. I'll get on that this weekend...maybe. I'm on call up here and if it's like last weekend I won't have much time.

BRAD! Good to hear from you!

Jenn said...

I can help you out on that post, my mom and I have been discussing the syndrome as of late and she's included many of our observations in a few of her family letters. It's an interesting immaturity that many people cling to.