Monday, September 21, 2009

Giving too much stuff and not enough time

Now that I'm home taking care of my wife and children in need... I caught a glimpse of Dr. Phil.  Yes the doctor that knows little if anything about medicine other than what is a band-aide.  
He was interviewing a woman whom had lost all hope with her child.  Her child was now doing everything in her power to make every choice a bad one.  She was finally arrested for some of her deeds.  So the big doctor asked her why this had happened.  Her reply...She had given it all to her child.  Every material thing she could afford to give was given.  She summed it up with the intriguingly concise sentence. "I gave her everything except for my time".  
I have discussed this with my wife and mother in law at length.  Our parents generation was never given anything materialistic that they didn't have to earn on with their own sweat and tears.  So when they grew up, what did they do?  They overcompensated and doled out everything materialistic in attempts to give them what they didn't have.  
I think they are missing the point.  They are successful today because of the fact that they had to earn their success.  Their parents worked hard.  However that is just a fraction of my point here.  I would like to point out that distractions were a minimum in those days.  No TV, Playstation, cell phones, or iPod.  Communication and travel outside of the home was expensive and therefore kept to a minimum.  A prime example of this was my grandma who passed away a few years ago.  When I called her, our conversation was always very brief.  Why you may ask?  Because she was asocial (not antisocial-a missnomer meaning fighting against social norms)?  NO! Again, because of the aforementioned cost.  It was a habit to keep conversation short to keep cost down.  I digress... Back to my point.     
Our children deserve our time, not materialistic gifts that are aimed at compensating for the void in time.  Activities such as eating dinner together, doing homework together, and attending extracurricular events are imperative in their growth.  This means not only attending the extracurricular event, but participating.  In that time with them, you not only bond in friendship with them, but also find out what their friends are up to, what they are being taught, and what they feel is important in life.
How about that for a random post!

2 comments:

Jenn said...

You're absolutely right (I'm sure your thinking "of course"). I have to remind myself that while I can't give them materialistic things, I can give them my love and time.

Nebraska Nelsons said...

Bravo Ricardo! Marielle